I think I am finally over my psychosis disorder.  =P

 

For a couple weeks there I thought that everything possible that could go wrong to a person was going wrong with me. I was delusional, imagining things that weren’t real and just feeling things that I should have never been feeling or thinking.

 

I got myself so emotionally distressed, I could not sleep. I could not eat. I couldn’t do anything but research why I was feeling these things and making myself more sick.

 

I felt guilty. anxious. scared & sick....everything! It was like everything was pouring out of me and I had no reasons why.

 

&& I think I've really put my relationship on the rocks too. =(

 

Josh hates when someone thinks they are always sick or something bad is going to happen...& It was happening to me.

 

Anxiety attacks up the ying yang.

I was waking up every morning at 3am, crying out to God to heal me. I wanted him to just comfort me. Let me know everything was going to be okay. Make everything okay.

 

I really don’t know how I ever got on this 'crazy kick' either but I thank God its over. honestly. I am so glad to be healthy minded again.

 

My doctor thinks ever since I was diagnosed with my precancerous cells on my cervix, I went into paranoia and it just started building.

 

I ruined my 23rd birthday.

I (possibly) ruined my close and open relationship with Josh.

I ruined alot of things.

 

I ran to stress. I let stress take over my body. & it was the most horrible feeling ever.

 

BUT

 

now I am feeling better :) I have been reading my bible daily and just praying for God to show me the way to a peaceful/less stressful life and he has done it so far :)

 

I am so excited to be starting my life anew :)

starting a close(r) relationship with God and Christ-like friends.

 

I just hope that Josh forgives me for being 'pyscho' for those 2 weeks.

I've tried talking to him about it...but at the time, he has ALOT on his mind and just doesn’t seem interested in the things I have to say about it...

 

but yah.

 

start interning on the 11th :)

super-de-duper excited about that!

1st grade Westside Elementary.

 

 

These things have I spoken unto you, that My joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:11).